meditation, medication, and yoga

Mastin Kipp Become a fan

Founder, The Daily Love

Addicted to Love, Part 3: A Return to Love

Posted: 08/19/2010 12:09 pm EDT Updated: 11/17/2011 9:02 am EST

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"Pain is not the enemy, the fear of passing through pain is."
--Pia Mellody, "Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself Power to Change the Way You Love"

Our world is ruled by LOVE. You might think it's money, but below the desire of money is the desire to be Loved. 

Our society is filled with an uncountable amount of movies, songs, TV shows and other media that promotes an unhealthy view on Love. Perhaps one of the most popular lines in recent movie history is "You complete me," uttered by Tom Cruise in "Jerry McGuire." But the list goes on an on. As I mentioned in Part 1, the media's portrayal of love is riddled with messages of Love addiction and codependence. It's almost as if the message we are collectively buying into and sending ourselves through the media is that each of us is incomplete as we are. 

When we feel incomplete it's human nature to compulsively search for that one thing that will make the intolerable reality okay. For some it's drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, disorganization, religion or sugar. The main compulsive habit I had formed over my life was to search for validation and "love" from others. This has been the core of all of my other "problems". 

Earlier in my life I participated in the typical Hollywood sex, drugs and rock 'n roll lifestyle and developed many dependencies on a plethora of drugs and also alcohol. For me, it was easy to quit all those things cold turkey. But people? That soothing feeling I got when someone I respected told me I did a great job, or the bliss of a kiss of a woman who I cared for? It seemed impossible. 

I was chasing around other people's validation in business and in Love for all of my adult life. Doing the Love cleanse for 30 days helped me gain insight into these patterns and also gave me time to learn tools to prevent my "love addiction" from returning. I have used some of these tools in the past to help break other cycles, but I've also learned some new tools to help break the cycle of Love addiction in my life. 

Before I give you the tools I want to go on record as saying that I personally do not believe that I will always be powerless over my addiction. I believe that (for me) my Love addiction is a temporary state of mind that with time, practice and patience I can change. I believe I am only powerless over my addiction/pattern when I am unaware or unconscious. I believe in the power of the heart and my Higher Power to completely remove any bad habits once I am aware of them and CHOOSE to work on them.

Also, I believe "Love addiction" isn't entirely accurate. I believe it should be called "affection addiction" or "emotional addiction." Love is a pure state of being and a choice we make. We cannot be "addicted to love" because I believe addiction and love cannot occupy the same space. 

So without further adieu here are some tools that can help you break the cycle of your Love addiction:

1. S.L.A.A., CoDA and Al-Alon

S.L.A.A is a 12-step program for Sex and Love Addicts. There are meetings all over the world, if you are interested in going to a meeting and to learn more please visithttp://www.SLAAfws.org 

CoDA is a 12-step program for codependants. If you are interested in going to a meeting and to learn more please visit http://www.CoDA.org 

Al-Anon is a 12-step program that is for people who live with or are close addicts. If you are interested in going to a meeting and to learn more please visit http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ 

2. Yoga

Yoga means union. It unites that part of you that is conditioned with bad habits with a stronger wiser power within you that will eventually eradicate your bad habits. The beautiful thing about yoga is that it changes the physiology of your body. You actually change the state of your being, make it more flexible, more vital and stronger.

Holding long and challenging poses helps to train your mind to transcend discomfort, accept yourself as is and brings your physical body into alignment.

A regular yoga practice can do wonders to help change your life. My personal favorite forms of Yoga are Kundalini and Anusara.

Although these are my personal favorite forms of Yoga, ANY Yoga is amazing. Try the different styles and see what works for you and make the best choice for you. 

3. Go on your own love cleanse

I am writing a book about my experience on the love cleanse which will detail what I went through as well as outline a specific program to follow. For the sake of brevity in this blog the love cleanse consists of 30 days without sex (including masturbation), contact with your former lovers (or anyone you have an unbalanced relationship with), no dating and no flirting.

This is a wonderful challenge to give yourself. Going cold turkey is a gift that pays HUGE dividends. 

4. Get a Mentor

I've had a couple mentors help me through this process. The two I would recommend are Tommy Rosen and Jan Shepherd; both live in LA and are available for in-person sessions and/or phone and email sessions.

Tommy is a yoga/meditation teacher and is an expert on addiction and recovery. You can email him at TommyRosen@Mac.com.

Jan is a transformational coach and has helped me burst through many illusions I have had for most of my life. Jan also specializes in personal growth, transformation and eating disorders. Her email is JanShep@aol.com or you can visit her website.

5. Meditate Daily

One of the many benefits of meditation is that it helps to give you peace of mind. It's best to meditate for at least 10 minutes before your day starts and 10 minutes before you go to bed. There are many forms of meditation. Mediation helps you to experience conscious contact with Source/God/Uni-verse/Spirit -- whatever you want to call it doesn't matter.

Meditation helps you put a big thick layer of your Higher Power between YOU and your "problem."

Also, you can mediate and still practice whatever religion or non-religion you want. Meditation is not about being a member of a specific religion, it's about finding a technique that helps calm and focus your mind. The experience is all that matters, the name you give the experience is not important.

You can check out Transcendental Meditation (practiced by Russell Simmons, David Lynch, etc), Japa Meditation (practiced by Wayne Dyer, etc), Vispassana Meditation (www.Dhamma.org), Kirtan and others.

My personal preference for meditation is from a Japanese Buddhist tradition. It's called The Liturgy of Nichiren Shoshu and the mantra "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" is chanted repeatedly as you wish for the success and happiness of yourself and others.

Nichiren Shosu Buddhism is a part of my regular practice, but please find a practice that is best for you. To learn more about Nichiren Shoshu please visit www.NST.org.

6. Find a Support Group

When you are going through massive change like this it is VITAL to surround yourself with supportive people. If there is anyone in your life who is against you wanting to better your life, I advise that you take a leave of absence from this person.

If that is impossible do your best to limit your contact with this person during your recovery. Hang out with awesome friends who have your best interest in mind. If you are lacking in the awesome friends category, this is a great time to create new and nurturing friendships. 

7. Exercise Daily

Exercise is just plain good for you. It increases the dopamine level in your brain which helps to bring the body into a state of bliss. Also, if you're going through a breakup there's nothing better than getting in shape. It's a great way to make your ex jealous (I know, SO bad of me to say huh? .)

8. Educate Yourself

Read up on all the inspirational material you can. I highly recommend getting "Facing Love Addiction" by Pia Mellody and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.

There are so many amazing books out there to get. Some of my personal favorites are "The Power of Intention" by Wayne Dyer, "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz, "Ask and it is Given" by Esther Hicks, "Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins, "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, and "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. 

9. Get creative

Through this process you are going to have a LOT of dormant energy. Start to write, paint, write music, start a new project. The sexual energy we use and devote to relationships will well up inside you, find a great outlet.

I'm reminded of the recent Lady Gaga quote: "I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone, they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina."

10. Be Easy On Yourself

Change is hard. Give yourself room to mess up, to try again. The most important thing to remember is that we are all human beings and are all work's in progress. We never get it all done and we will never be perfect. Find perfection in the imperfection and love yourself through this process. Get excited that you are in the biggest change in your life!!

11. Surrender

Surrender the outcome of all your relationships to the will of your Higher Power. You don't really have time and it's not healthy to try to manage all the details of getting someone to like you. Should you send the text? When do you call them back? Are they going to call you back? How's it going to unfold? When was the last time they checked their Facebook page? What's Google have to say about all this?

ENOUGH! Let it all go. Set your intention of becoming a lovable person and let the Universe handle the details. Making this one choice has changed my life in a profound way!

I hope my words and my journey have been helpful to you. I am happy to say that this process has opened my eyes to side of myself that I was not aware of until this journey began. I cannot say that I am perfectly "healed" from this process. But I can honestly say before this process I was caught in an unconscious additive pattern. Now that there is awareness around this part of my life I have something I didn't have before, and that is CHOICE. I can go back to my old ways at anytime, but if I went back is would be through a conscious choice to do harm to myself and others in my life. 

I am so grateful for this journey and these tools. I hope they become a part of your life and that you experience a thriving life instead of a surviving life. 

I'd love to hear from you about this -- feel free to email me:TheDailyLove@TheDailyLove.com 

All my love,
Mastin

Follow Mastin Kipp on Twitter: www.twitter.com/TheDailyLove

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From Dr Pillai

Although we try to integrate the many facets of our lives and we might be overall satisfied with our lives, the truth is that at times we feel:

• Disconnected
• Pessimistic
• Fragmented
• Confused
• Indecisive
• Anxious
• Tired

If one or more of the above conditions applies to you, the reason is mostly planetary. Belonging to the human family means that we are also subject to a number of emotions, influences, stimulations and negativities that we can’t simply ignore.
Planets are not just sitting there, but are major electromagnetic powerhouses sending consciousness-changing rays and vibrations to you at all times. Several planets are now in a state of stalling or confusion.
But don’t lose heart! Here comes some ancient yet science-validated knowledge from sages, yogis and Siddhas brought to us by divine grace, just when the world needs more light and inspiration. 
Read the five ways the planets might now affect you and—more important—what to do about it.
1. Physical
Everyone might now be experiencing some temporary physical symptoms due to Mars’ debilitation and Jupiter’s combustion.
Mars is feeling sluggish and so could you.
Also, because a strong Sun in Leo is very close to Jupiter, some of the good qualities of the planet of expansion and wisdom may be reduced.
Additionally, Mercury is at a very close degree with Rahu, the North lunar node. The skin may now be affected by sunburn, bug bites, or allergic reactions.
 Remedies 

• Keep a routine of exercise even if you are on vacation.
• You may need to reduce running and take up gentle walks instead. The feet might be affected when Jupiter, ruler of this body part, is combust.
• Gentle self-massage with naturally made lotions can restore well-being.
• Protecting your skin with insect repellent made with essential oils is usually enough to prevent bug bites. But often wearing clothes made of thick fabric is necessary as well because some bugs can bite through thin fabric—as I experienced recently.

2. Mental
Overtasking is common and particularly when Mercury is in a very close conjunction with Rahu, while Saturn aspects Sun and Jupiter.
While your work projects have probably taken off fine, there is some mental unrest and a need for a proper pace.

Remedies

• Take regular time off from your media outlets.
• Choose an easy form of meditation: walking in nature, sitting in a quiet place with the eyes closed and gentle yoga work marvels to defuse stress.
• Select a sacred sound and repeat it mentally to bring in auspicious and positive vibrations to your mind.
• Go to sleep an hour earlier than usual. We underestimate this step, yet most people are simply tired and sleep deprived.

3. Emotional
 The Moon rules the emotions and the Siddha Masters tell us that relationships are an emotional job. In fact, Dr. Pillai says that relationships are 100 percent emotional.
So what to do when Venus—planet of happiness through relationships and pleasures—is retrograde and close to Mars? Happiness is a bit harder to get and irritation can occur. As a consequence our emotions will be affected, too.
Remedies

• Avoid fighting. Easier said than done when the planets are not supportive, but self-discipline can help. Take time and deep breaths if you must, but try to get along.
• Keep the body cool if you live in a hot area due to season or geographic placement.
• Eating a cooling food like pears and drinking coconut water or apple juice can defuse an argument, according to Ayurvedic experts.
• Splurge on some good quality ice cream—organic and free of artificial ingredients. Sweets pacify the fire element in the body and you’ll feel more settled and content, says Ayurveda.

4. Financial
 Mercury is now strong, but close to Rahu. This can bring some fluctuations in the markets and in your cash flow.
Also both Jupiter and Venus are involved in delivering wealth.
Remedies

• Rahu likes foreign markets and people born in foreign countries. You might now want to explore investments that involve the above.
• Think of something unusual you could sell and try to find a new niche by thinking unconventionally.
• Maintain faith and devotion to a higher Power.

5. Spiritual
You might be feeling helpless or dejected and optimism is just not on your mind. Dr. Pillai says that negativity is stronger than positivity, so we need some help with that.
At all times, you can get help from celestial Beings and Vedic rituals.
Pick one or more of the areas that are challenging for you right now and order a specialized Fire Lab for the ruling planet.
Also, these vibrational sounds for the planetary forces that are causing you difficulties will bring in more positivity:

• OM MANGALAYA NAMAHA (for Mars)
• OM SHUKRAYA NAMAHA (for Venus)
• OM GURAVE NAMAHA (for Jupiter)
• OM SHANECHARAYA NAMAHA (for Saturn)
• OM BUDHAYA NAMAHA (for Mercury)
• OM RAHAVE NAMAHA (for Rahu)

Enjoy the energies!

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Four Winds Society, dedicated to the teachings of Carlos Casteneda

 

“The shamans believe that long ago, in the invisible world,
the blueprint of creation was drawn. Chaos was returned to order,
into the cosmos, through the actions of Earthkeepers who were
able to dream new worlds into being.”

—Alberto Villoldo, Ph.D.

Becoming Deep

Most who come to the Four Winds Light Body School to learn shamanic energy medicine were inspired and called to make a difference in the world.
Many have been able to help friends and family live healthy and joy-filled lives, and even started their own energy medicine practice.
All of you – in small ways, or big ways – have experienced profound transformative healing and continue to protect our Mother Earth as Earthkeepers.
It has been our great honor to mentor thousands of students who have taken this work out into the world. We hear your stories of personal and collective change and feel truly blessed!
You are the ones who raised your hand when Spirit called.
You are the ones who dream in a new vision for the world.
You hold the rites and initiations within you and continue to grow those seeds.
You have journeyed with us, prayed with us and dreamed with us. Your incredible enthusiasm has helped Alberto Villoldo’s book One Spirit Medicine become a bestseller on the Wall Street Journal’s Top 10 list!
Alberto tells us, and we are witnessing, that we are living in a time when the global scenario is increasingly disquieting, on every level – political, economic, social and environmental.
In One Spirit Medicine, Alberto explains: “As you heal your brain and bring your health span in line with your life span, you can take an enlightened perspective into your community, to protect the land, clean up the waterways, and broker peaceful interaction.”

“When you detox and then power your brain with superfoods, the quest can be a face-to-face meeting with your destiny in which you discover your ability to co-create with Spirit.”
We are being called again, not just to stand firm and hold a different outcome for the world, but to take the valuable tools that we already have to a new level.
How do we do that?
If you are a student or a graduate, join us at the  Great Gathering  in October – come together as one tribe, deepen your skills with friends, mentors and with our lineage. We will be joined by Alberto’s good friend and colleague, Gregg Braden, as well as Compton Rom Bada, Kelley Alexander, Lynn Berryhill, and of course Alberto and Marcela.  We encourage you to join us as we discuss the importance of up-leveling your journey for the benefit of all beings.
If you’ve completed your training, refresh your practice and experience our new 300-hour  Shamanic Energy Medicine  course: it’s fast tracked, full-immersion, newly formatted and skillfully woven into a seamless tapestry that embraces shamanic practices, superfoods, and the neuroscience of enlightenment: One Spirit Medicine – all in one.  Do ask your Academic Advisor about the substantial discounts available.
If you haven’t started your training, read about our new curriculum  here . And then just listen – if it’s for you, you’ll hear the call.
We’ve raised the bar, and are poised to bring further healing to ourselves and our planet, so we may dream a different outcome for the earth, and all mankind.
Many blessings, The Four Winds Society

One Spirit Medicine is a Wall Street Journal Bestseller!  

Congratulations to Alberto Villoldo and big thanks to everyone who helped make One Spirit Medicine a Wall Street Journal Top 10 best-seller!
 Experience the journey of One Spirit Medicine and discover a brain and body that ages, heals and dies differently.

300 hour Energy Medicine Training  

“It takes a full moon cycle to change the architecture of the luminous body, awaken our deepest calling and gifts, and embark on your journey to grow a new body that ages, heals and dies differently.” Alberto Villoldo

Master the skills of One Spirit Medicine. The time has come to step forward and claim your destiny. During the 300 hour training you will acquire the basic skills for healing yourself and others along with the advanced tools for dreaming your world into being. Blending ancient knowledge with cutting edge science you will experience the alchemy of profound transformation. (Read More)

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Part 1 (150 hours)
Energy Medicine Training

Everything in the Universe is Energy. Spend 2 weeks at the beautiful Eastover Retreat and begin your training to be an Energy Medicine Practitioner. This part 1 course includes specific healing practices, rites and ceremonies which give you the basic skills for healing yourself and others.  (Read More)

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The Great Gathering 
Our annual gathering of students and graduates is just a few months away! This year we are so pleased to announce that Alberto’s good friend Gregg Braden, New York Times bestselling author and pioneer of the science-mind connection, will be joining us for a special keynote presentation! There are going to be fire ceremonies, despachos, intimate dialogues and so much more.  (Read More)

Respond to the Call… It is time to come to the fire.

Grow a New Body

How would you like to spend time in Chile enjoying daily yoga, gentle mountain hikes, massage, and energy medicine sessions with renowned shamans?  We have discovered that you can repair your brain and heal your body in as little as a week. (Read more)




Masters Classes

Deepen your work as you refresh and build on
your skills with one of these Masters Classes.
(Learn more here)

Upcoming classes and events to begin

the journey and continue your education . 


The Three Masteries – Reading the Signs of Destiny, Working with the Sacred, Walking with Protection: Los Lobos Lodge, Chile;  August 31-September 11, 2015 
  Working intensely guided by Dr. Alberto Villoldo and Four Winds lead teachers you’ll learn to finely-tune your intuition and begin to seize the glorious opportunities that await as you learn to recognize the signs. Explore the ancient myths that guide your dreams. Learn to bring peace, balance and healing to every situation, and to walk with beauty in the world.  (Read More)

Light Body North: Germany; September 9-14, 2015  
Just as a hummingbird makes the seemingly impossible migration from Canada all the way to Brazil, we too can embark on the epic mythic journey when Spirit calls.  Although we don’t know where we’re going or how we’ll get there, we will learn how to follow the soul’s guidance to the sweetest nectar to sustain us on our way.  (Read More)

Working with the Sacred: Germany; September 15-20, 2015
You will learn what makes people “stuck” on the level of the soul.  By working in ceremony, you will acquire valuable tools which allow you to honor what shows up on the mythic level, including the seemingly “negative” elements, so that you can bring healing, transformation, and balance to every situation and every encounter.   (Read More)

Light Body West : Biltmore Campus, Miami, FL; September 20-25, 2015
Just as the jaguar has no predators in the jungle, learn to have no enemies in this world or beyond.  Leave behind the traditional archetype of the violent warrior and step into the shoes of the luminous warrior, who speaks only truth, walks truth, and calls truth. Break free from the grip of fear and prepare to journey beyond death.   (Read More)

150 HR Shamanic Energy Medicine:  Massachusetts; October 4-18, 2015
Join Dr. Alberto Villoldo, Marcela Lobos M.A., and senior teachers for Part 1 of the 300 hour residential course. This course will be taught at the beautiful Eastover Retreat in Lenox, Massachusetts. During the training you will experience profound healing and transformation. You will enjoy an extraordinary detox diet, the gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, nutrient dense organic meals that will help you begin to grow a new and more vibrant body.  (Read More)

Light Body North:  Omega, NY ; October 4-9, 2015    
Just as a hummingbird makes the seemingly impossible migration from Canada all the way to Brazil, we too can embark on the epic mythic journey when Spirit calls.  Although we don’t know where we’re going or how we’ll get there, we will learn how to follow the soul’s guidance to the sweetest nectar to sustain us on our way.   (Read More)

Light Body West : Massachusetts; October 11, 2015
Just as the jaguar has no predators in the jungle, learn to have no enemies in this world or beyond.  Leave behind the traditional archetype of the violent warrior and step into the shoes of the luminous warrior, who speaks only truth, walks truth, and calls truth. Break free from the grip of fear and prepare to journey beyond death.   (Read More)    

Reading the Signs of Destiny: Omega, NY; October 11-16, 2015
Learn to recognize and align yourself with the signs provided by nature, randomness, and chance events. As you study the art of shamanic seeing and perceive the world of energy, you heed the cautions and seize the opportunities that Spirit offers you.  (Read More)

Mastery of Time: Omega, NY; October 11-16, 2015    
Mastery of Time has always been an advanced practice for the shamans of our lineage.  Now it is also one of our most popular master level trainings. In ancient Greece, Time was such a strong archetypal energy, that it was worshiped as the God of all Gods – Chronos.  Today, in the West, we are still very much in the grip of this powerful archetype...  (Read More)

Light Body East: Joshua Tree, CA; October 25-30, 2015
Take a giant leap of faith.  Come and be kicked out of the nest by Great Eagle so that you can spread your wings, soaring high above the world.  Forget the minute details of your life and your old identifications, and let yourself see everything from a greater perspective.  (Read More)

Working with the Sacred: Joshua Tree, CA; October 25-30, 2015
You will learn what makes people “stuck” on the level of the soul.  By working in ceremony, you will acquire valuable tools which allow you to honor what shows up on the mythic level, including the seemingly “negative” elements, so that you can bring healing, transformation, and balance to every situation and every encounter.  (Read More)

The Great Gathering: Joshua Tree, CA; October 30- November 1, 2015
Alberto Villoldo, Founder and Chairman of the Four Winds Society proudly invites students and graduates of the Light Body School to come together in joyous ceremony at the 2015 Great Gathering of Shamans where we will renew our collective power, vision and sense of belonging.  (Read More)

Advanced Divination : Joshua Tree, CA; November 1-6, 2015 
Deepen your divination skills and align yourself even further with the signs presented by nature, randomness and chance events.   Master the art of tracking, shamanic seeing, and creating maps on the level of the soul for individuals and for the entire world.   (Read More)

Mesa and Ceremony: Joshua Tree, CA; November 1-6, 2015
The mesa or altar is a collection of power objects that represents the shaman’s journey through the Medicine Path. As one travels the Medicine Wheel receiving the rites of passage, the shaman’s mesa begins to grow and connect to all of creation.   (Read More)

Light Body West :  Joshua Tree, CA; November 1-6, 2015
Just as the jaguar has no predators in the jungle, learn to have no enemies in this world or beyond.  Leave behind the traditional archetype of the violent warrior and step into the shoes of the luminous warrior, who speaks only truth, walks truth, and calls truth. Break free from the grip of fear and prepare to journey beyond death.   (Read More)

Grow a New Body Intensive: Los Lobos Lodge, Chile; January 2-9, 2016
Experience daily yoga, gentle mountain hikes, massage, and energy medicine sessions with renowned shamans. Most importantly, you will sample the brain foods and nutrients that repair the brain, regulate cellular energy production, and reverse the damage done by free radicals and oxidative stress.  (Read More)

Grow a New Body: Los Lobos Lodge, Chile; January 11-18, 2016
Experience daily yoga, gentle mountain hikes, massage, and energy medicine sessions with renowned shamans. Most importantly, you will sample the brain foods and nutrients that repair the brain, regulate cellular energy production, and reverse the damage done by free radicals and oxidative stress.  (Read More)

Light Body East: Germany; January 24-29, 2016
Take a giant leap of faith.  Come and be kicked out of the nest by Great Eagle so that you can spread your wings, soaring high above the world.  Forget the minute details of your life and your old identifications, and let yourself see everything from a greater perspective.  (Read More)

300 HR Shamanic Energy Medicine: Los Lobos Lodge, Chile; February 1-28, 2016
Master the skills of One Spirit Medicine. The time has come to step forward and claim your destiny. During the 300 hour training you will acquire the basic skills for healing yourself and others along with the advanced tools for dreaming your world into being. Blending ancient knowledge with cutting edge science you will experience the alchemy of profound transformation.  (Read More)

 

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